A crazed Delaware mother with known drink and drug addictions and a history of mental instability, delusions and poor cookery skills was arrested this week after reportedly mistaking her four month-old baby for a THANKSGIVING TURKEY and trying to COOK it for two hours at 190 degrees. The woman, who is yet to be publicly named by Wilmington Police, is thought to have been on a heady cocktail of valium, ecstasy, methamphetamine, cocaine and wine spritzers when the incident occurred. Luckily, a freak power cut had hit the neighborhood just minutes before she put her son, whom thankfully she had neither basted nor stuffed, into the oven.
The potentially fatal mix-up was only discovered when the woman’s sister later looked in the baby’s crib to check up on him and found a large uncooked Thanksgiving turkey snugly tucked in next to a teddy bear. She immediately checked the oven and discovered what her sibling had done. Fearing for the child’s safety, she alerted authorities immediately. Child Protective Services arrived shortly afterwards and removed the child. The police followed shortly after and took away the oven.
The woman told police that she was doing a practice run for the upcoming Thanksgiving festivities and thought she’d see how long it would take to cook the turkey, but must have got confused between the bird and her offspring because her infant son ‘usually lies on his back with his legs in the air, real still. Just like a turkey…’
By a sheer freak occurrence, a nearby lightning storm had taken out the power, meaning that the oven hadn’t been pre heated at all. A police statement said, ‘it is extremely fortunate that the power cut meant that the oven could not heat up. Otherwise that poor baby would have roasted to death after two hours at a medium heat, having been turned once halfway through and then served with cranberry sauce and gravy.’
The mother will have to undergo intensive drink and drug rehabilitation, as well as a four week poultry cooking course, before being considered a fit mother and allowed her baby son and oven to return home.